Me and Jesse just put an offer in in a house. My bank account is telling me to save as much money as humanly possible over the next few months. My brain is telling me to increase the amount of money I spend on wine because the alcohol will absolutely be necessary to kill the anxiety that this whole process is inducing. But it is exciting! And scary. Really fucking scary.
I have been trying really hard not to hate most things.
Every day, I come home from work, and I have something to complain about. It isn’t always work related. Sometimes it is about the guy sitting next to me on the train who is having a very loud, very gesticulated work-related conversation. Sometimes it is about something I read on the interwebs.
Today, it is about something I read on the interwebs.
The gist of this article was that Zooey Deschanel is adorable, and being adorable is irritating because it isn’t age-appropriate. Polka dots aren’t age-appropriate. Tights and converse aren’t womanly. Jewelry (not from Etsy) is womanly. Dates that don’t involve walks and ice cream, but rather wine and date-like things (although she didn’t specify what those date-like things are) are adult. God forbid you like kittens. I just don’t get it. This woman was basically saying that females have to change after leaving college. You have to “grow up”, not just emotionally but also in how you present yourself to the world. This I get, to an extent. But she goes beyond that. She suggests that you not only have to present yourself like an adult, but you should rid your life of any interests that could be labeled as child-like. No kittens. No ice cream. No walks. No Converse. No music with ukeleles.
No ukeleles?
Why should anyone have to change who they are to become more “adult”? Personally, I think I have done a damn good job of adapting myself to the adult, professional world without having to sacrifice the things that I use to define myself. I have a Masters in chemistry from a pretty good school, and I achieved that in less time than it takes most people. My advisor suggested that my thesis was about 2/3 of what a Ph. D. thesis would have been. I work for a company in Cambridge, using my degree. I’m currently vying for a promotion that would give me a lot of responsibility over a very exciting project, something most people with masters in chemistry don’t really get to do. I am respected by my co-workers and my boss, and my boss’s boss. I make enough money to pay for my rent, my bills, my car, and everything else I want to do. I have a high-yield savings account with more than six moths rent, I contribute to a 401k, I have health insurance, I donate to charities. I am saving for a new car. I also buy dresses, tights, and leggings at Target. I wear silly t-shirts and band t-shirts and science t-shirts, and I wear them to work with jeans, cardigans, and Converse. I don’t straighten my hair or wear more makeup than mascara and eyeliner or wear jewelry, unless it’s my lime green watch or the handful of artsy-type necklaces that I got from Etsy or Forever21. My apartment is covered in pictures that I took, and nothing really matches, and my curtains are made from silly fabric that I bought at Ikea. Most of our furniture is from Ikea or are hand-me-downs. I like music with ukeleles and strong, adorable female singers and cellos and folksy twang. I like understated movies and movies by Wes Anderson and hate most romantic comedies and action movies that are popular and “adult”. Sometimes I like an animated movie. I like walks and ice cream. I really like ice cream. I generally don’t like bars, unless they have a cool vibe or a good band and aren’t playing house music and aren’t crawling with guys who gel their hair and talk with fake Jersey accents. I like having conversations and spending Friday nights playing games. And I’m not going to apologize for any of these things. The day I have to show up for work in generic Express clothes is the day I look for a new job. There are men out there who understand that being a “woman” isn’t something you can define by pantsuits and fine wine. I found one of them. We both sleep with our childhood stuffed animals and we picked out our curtain fabric together. And when he read the article, he was equally infuriated. Why do you have to be boring to be considered “adult”? he asked. And why do you have to change who you are impress men?? I know many men that would take Zooey Deschanel in an instant, if given the chance.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-25) -
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-18) -
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-11) -
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-12-4) -
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-11-27) -
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My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2011-11-20) -
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Today I was talking with one of my fellow teachers at work and she was talking to me because she wanted to help me network with whatever it was I wanted to do. I told her that what I did wasn’t really the most appropriate thing to bring into a school of business. She didn’t understand so I showed…
I get this a lot. I am a chemist by trade, and one of the few that I’ve met that has a creative side. What you do for money and what you do for pleasure shouldn’t always be the same thing.
I struggle with this too. But then I think, why shouldn’t I love a bunch of different things? Why can’t I love baking and photography and chemistry and knitting, and choose only one to be my career? Who cares if it doesn’t fit. And who cares if I don’t fit the persona that goes along with any of them?
I think Katie is wonderful. And I am sick of people who judge others in this stupid unthinking way, who just assume that everyone is the way they “seem.” I’m sick of black and white.
Things That Have Pissed Me Off This Week:
1) Loud Talkers. You know, the ones who sound like they’re purposely talking loud so everyone can hear their conversation. I don’t care that your kid likes the chocolate frosted cinnamon buns even though you think they’re revolting.
2) People who lack self-awareness. This includes people who blog about not knowing what to blog about, people who report on Facebook that it is “Only Four Days!” until they get a new iPhone, people who post pictures of their new haircut as if people care, people who think that everyone cares about what they have to say, people who…
3) Ah, fuck. People. Just people.
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I thought about crawling under my desk today to see if people could still find me. I resent my boss for going on vacation, because while he’s enjoying the countryside of Ireland, I’m getting sick and handling things that my pay scale shouldn’t allow me to handle. I’m bitter about a lot of things, and would rather spend my days making pot roasts and baking cookies.
It’s time to get away. It has only been three months since our road trip, and I am already itching for the open road. Or something. Anything.
The impending holidays are already bumming me out.
I’m tired. I’m worn. I’m bored. I’m not challenged. Or I’m challenged too much, I can’t decide. Maybe I’m not challenged in the right way.
Oh, first world problems. Wah, I have a job. Wah, I am busy. Wah, technology is annoying. Wah, let me whine to my blog.
What I need to do is stfu and start taking some pictures and losing myself in my darkroom. I need to stop whining and just spend the $1800 for two tickets to Germany. I need to buck up and do what is asked of me so I get a promotion come March. I need to remember that our generation is not entitled to things, like challenges. Sometimes, you have to work a repetitive job, even if that job does require a Masters degree in chemistry. Sometimes things aren’t fun. Sometimes things are hard. Sometimes you get sick. Sometimes your boss goes on vacation and leaves you in charge. Sometimes you have to do things that you aren’t comfortable with. Growth, and what not.
Eh. Doesn’t change the fact that I am a Cynical Cynthia today.